"Comparison is an act of violence against the self"
- Iyanla Vanzant
Yes. Yes I did just quote Iyanla.
This one is a biggie because the fact of the matter is: if you are reading this, you compare yourself to other people. The fact that you clicked on this link on one of my social media profiles means that you are on social media and by default you are subconsciously comparing yourself to other people.
You make comparisons every single day.
We all do.
We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.
- 2 Corinthians 10:12
"We do not dare to classify and compare ourselves with some who commend themselves"
2 Corinthians written in like 53 AD? Back then Paul was like yo I'm not even gonna dare compare myself with people who tote around their accomplishments because what they are doing is not smart- measuring your accomplishments with other peoples accomplishments is not wise- so let me not even engage with that foolery.
But we do it every single day.
We even compare down in an effort to make ourselves feel better after we've compared up: yikes.
I'm really good at comparing myself to others: especially in the industry that I'm in.
It takes a lot of mental strength and energy to not compare and to simply celebrate the mountains of success other people in your field are making and while I am so happy for them, I'd be lying if I didn't say that comparison seeps in one way or another.
I'd compare myself to my peers and not take into account how much older than me they were, how long they've been doing what I'm doing, their personal strengths, and a whole host of other things.
I'd compare myself and completely negate my own accomplishments (which I think is even more detrimental). As if all of the work I've done, the small semblance of a career I've carved out for myself, and all of the personal growth I've made means nothing because I'm not on broadway right this very minute, or have a tv show right now.
And it'll chip away at you if you're not careful.
It'll chip away at your happiness, your peace of mind, your confidence and self trust, and your overall wellbeing.
Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.
- Matthew 12:13
(could expand on this but...maybe another post)
So ya gotta just..stop. '
Focusing on what you lack and what others have closes you off to receiving the things that you desire.
You have to take all of that energy that you spend wishing you had more, wishing that you were in a different place, that you had booked that job, that you were in that relationship, and just direct it towards yourself and your growth.
Dropping comparisons is also a practice. It will always be there and I'm not sure that we can ever totally get rid of it but you can practice combating it.
Gratitude- being thankful and grateful for all that you have will really boost your mood and open yourself up to receive more of what you desire (it's just facts wether you're spiritual or not- can not WAIT to write a post on all that) I've gotten high off of gratitude its a great time.
Watering your own grass- Focus on the things that make you happy. Do things that lift you spirits - take a hike, spend time with a friend, draw, paint, have your own dance party (these are the best)
Mindfulness- notice when you are comparing yourself to others- especially because we do it throughout the day. If you catch yourself doing it you can see it for what it is- a simple comparison- and not get swept up in it.
Self-Compassion- don't negate your work and your accomplishments. Be understanding about where you are coming from. Pat yourself on the back sometimes. Talk kindly to yourself and acknowledge all of the obstacles you have endured to get to where you are today because you're doing great! You've made it this far! go you!!
Lead with love- comparison causes fear and the only thing that can combat fear is love so lead with love every dat. Be kind, be bold and understanding, be patient. You'll feel more at ease, more brave and more freedom. All good things yay!
It's so cliche (even though I'm learning every day that cliche's are cliche's for a reason) but you are on your own timeline and your own journey. Stay disciplined, consistent, diligent, and grateful homies and we gon' all be alright.